Here I plan on sharing a lot of my thoughts, some of my poetry, music and movie reviews, etc.
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je= journal entry, p= poem, pi= poem idea, mw= misc. writing, mo= movie discussion, mu= music discussion, o= other
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1/23/25, je
welp man its been a while. kinda forget this shit existed.i just wanna rant and type out some words that no one will read for at least a very long time. i think the whole internet might be fake with the exception of like, certain niche communites and the people i actually know in real life. i think every other interaction i have is with ai or a bot or something like that, its not human. none of this is human. and the bots are not randomized, they are carefully handcrafted and catered by an algorithm of some kind. one that knows exactly how to slither right into your mind to do whatever it needs to do to distract you, persuade you, misguide you, or whatever it needs to do to achieve the ulterior motive of {redacted}. it is mostly about power and money but i have a weird feeling that theres some other kinda weird aspiration. like something religious or a sex ring. this shit is horrifying and theres no way to stop it and no good way to avoid it. its infecting our governments and working its ways into all the others, slowly and surely. it is evil, and i sincerely mean it is the purest form of evil on the planet. i write this is anger and frustration. i have no other way to exert this rage. the fucking lizard people that are responsible for this have to go. this cannot continue longer before all is lost. ítuu
8/23/23, p
The towers, Katrina, recession alike
It never felt like too much of a spike
It’s not that I was too young to realize
But selfish and centered on being alive
Then earthquakes, shootings, protests combined
Were inside and out each side of my mind
To justice and fairness, I wasn’t all blind
But focused on something a bit more refined
Now viruses, mutiny, water rising
Both sides of the coin not comprising
Ignoring it all can be enticing
But pretending is no longer sufficing
Cause the times they need a-changin’
Yeah this house needs rearranging
There’s no time for explaining
We need something more sustaining
These old swamps they need a draining
And protectors need retraining
There’s no time for explaining
Cause the times they need a-changin’
8/23/23, je/pi
the cincinnati reds just won a baseball game 👍 i gained back an old friend possibly. no telling if it will last but for the time being that is good. it is 12:15 am august 23 2023. i still feel as lost as ever. maybe a little more found. what am i losing out on? what is losing out on me? different way of thinking about being lost. lost like a pen. like i belong somewhere that would be better with me, and id be better with it. im just lost and either i need to find my way back or the way back needs to find me. then i will be found.
8/22/23, je
started feeling kinda insane today. not sure in what way but i feel different like theres a buzzing in my head. it makes my heart beat faster. it makes me suicidal. i dont want to be alive right now. why cant i find anything that consistently grounds me? why must i always have my head in the clouds? its so hard to breathe up there